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Streams of dark red hair & the first clear bra straps I ever saw — Depressed in Antalya where I know nobody & no one speaks English but I still found the art store — Yes I am drawing YOU!—– Outside the Archeological Museum in Antalya before I got back on the bus.


Zeliha – Another beauty—— Gabriela had recommended this hospital as clean and private. It was full of Germans. So I asked Nizam to take me there right after I fell. But Bilgi Hastanesi in Manavğat-Side was a clip joint, incompetent, after my insurance, and they almost killed me.


People who suspect they’re being drawn — Robert Maffin, formerly of the British Army, now – fortunately for us here – International Operations Manager at Bilgi. — The consensus is that I need knee surgery, pronto. I must stay in Side a few days, then return to Kaş for a few things & back here for surgery Monday 4 September. Thank God I bought good insurance—— Nizam glowered in the corner. He tried to pick me up and carry me out of there. “Sweet, A know good hospital, State Hospital—“ I looked from E.M. Forster to King Kong and plumped for my Western Culture. Worst mistake I ever made.


31 August 2000 — We are not even in the Museum, yet! — Mehmet — “Sit here!” So I did! — Overwhelming wave of sadness here in the garden—–


30 August 2000 — Shitstorm Angels [feel like hands pressing outward from inside my skull.]  really loud today ( They predict emotional mayhem)  — Ahmet! — They have given me a big brace — MRI shows the ligament is torn — If I had a home in LA I would go there — They tell me I need surgery — I prayed to be free of the black obsession — I am being dumped because I have not come across with more dough — Feel I’ve squandered my free will on a frivolous man — Help me angels I feel you there — So do something — [5 Positives:] Kaş place / Andy in October / Ruins okay / Cheap hotel / Insurance — Every time I turn around, I am falling or otherwise hurting myself—— I had hurt people when I left my marriage and LA and this felt like it was coming back on me. In fairness to Nizam, he probably felt he’d squandered his last chance on a woman who couldn’t do much for him.


30 August 2000 — A really pleasant evening at AnneMarie & Mustafa’s Grill with these guys — NIHAT — Wall of the ancient Roman bah opposite — I had sworn off drawing any more waiters no matter how handsome but these two were so fascinating I went ahead — CENGIZ from Nemrut Dağ —Teacher, Masseur, Scorpio, Next——


30 August 2000 — Standing in the street in the hot night rendering wooden trim – Dark of the moon — My knee went out again on my way to the hospital, they gave me this swell black & scarlet brace to wear until I get surgery or miraculous healing. —- CAHIT – Science teacher @ the high school——

FALL! Heartbreakingly beautiful morning in SIDE – 31 August 2000 — Makes me lonesome for a time which, if I ever knew it, I have forgotten. — Feel like a familiar oppressive darkness is lifting from my life.—— I remember the rough sea was ice-cream green.


31 August 2000 — Zarif — Part of the Roman Theater (2ndCentury AD) in Side. — Robert Maffin keeps calling to tell me what a good hospital Bilgi is & that I need surgery—— Just doing his job. I believed him. I’m sure he did too.


31 August 2000 — Chunk of the Roman Aqueduct (unfinished) & Bilgin Hastanesi (Hospital) where they treated my knee — DR HALIM DEMIRAL – My surgeon (the good one)— Despite his refusal to dispense enough painkiller, Dr Demiral was likely the only competent professional in the place. This was an investigative journey on my part; I hadn’t yet decided to go there.

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