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Book 7: ASHES OF ROSES

NIGHT BUS

11 July 2000 — Nizam & me on the night bus to Kaş — 14 hours- It finished us. Well, almost.—— Nizam was foul at having to ride a bus when he expected to fly. I drew this in the dark, watching our reflections on the glass and wondering where this was all going.

TWO HANDS

Out the bus window — what a lush country! Trees like massed clouds — The bus has stopped…oh, God — Horrible accident — wrecked truck in a field just after a fatal accident- young man dead — <When I drew these [trees] he was alive — NIZAM’S HAND — fields of sunflowers —

<Twisted mass of steel used to be a car — He was killed on a warm summer morning – not yet twenty — DEAD BOY’S HAND — Water distribution system — Ochre & baby blue houses — Old ruin in a stand of cypresses — We are both sad ——

EACH OTHER

My picture of Nizam – Midnight 12-13 July 2000 — Nizam’s picture of me – Midnight 12-13 July 2000—— 

HOLDING VERY STILL

Nizam, 12 July, holding very still—— Great food and a spectacularly beautiful night in Kaş. ”You said you weren’t going to drink tonight,” I said. “With this fish I wan’ rakı, but on’y one.” At dawn after hours of mayhem I staggered out in the clothes I’d been able to grab & found another hotel.

BREAKFAST PAL

I don’t know why I even try to draw right now when I am so sad and exhausted and all I want is to eat potato chops & read my good trash novel. Asleep for 16 hours after huge cumulative blowout with NÇ during which he lost my contact lenses so I squint in glasses & wait for new ones from America. He is gone!! — My little breakfast pal—— The seaside garden at Sardunya Hotel. Rayan and I dived into the turquoise water and came up laughing, just as my phone began to ring. We ignored it.

MEHMET & LITTLE ESRA

Was she excited to have her picture drawn! — 20 July 2000—— These kids belonged to the Sardunya Hotel, where I lived most of the time I was in Kaş. They’d be in their 20s and 30s now.

ULYSSES

Hulusi* *Ulysses — New friends 18 July 2000 — “That island is Greece”—— Hulusi here did not like the first drawing I did of him, so I did a more flattering take below it, to impress his hot new girlfriend. I never saw any of them again.

NIGHT DIVE

Rayan & Nicole on a night dive—— Along for the ride under the stars.

MADAM NICOLE

This tiny tootsie is Madam Nicole from Noo Yawk. — “Do I look that good? Really?” God always sends what I need to hold my own. In an abusive relationship, I meet a dominatrix. Angels come in many forms. —- My feet, hereto unsung except by a besotted ex-boyfriend, will now brighten her fetish website.

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